Comparing ourselves to others is a dangerous activity.  It severely diminishes God’s plan for our lives. He created us with a perfect plan in mind for our lives, and each one of us is perfectly equipped to carry out this plan.  If we are paying attention, we find that God provides us with everything we need along our path to bring His plan for us to life.

Our job is to make sure our focus is where it should be. We are not equipped to follow any path but our own.  To try and follow a path meant for someone else will only lead to failure.  Our own opportunities are easily missed if we are only looking at the opportunities others are provided.   We can’t see the beauty in our own lives if we are constantly measuring our blessings against those others receive.

Our modern world provides many things that distract us from God’s opportunities for us. If I wrote about even a tenth of them, this blog would never end. So, I’m going to get very personal here and talk about a distraction that impacted me deeply over the years: Fashion Media. I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s  when supermodels like Cheryl Teigs, Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell and Christie Brinkley dominated the media. Technology was in its first rapid growth phase.  TVs and computers were in more households than ever before, and the media jumped on the opportunity to put a supermodel everywhere they possibly could.  As a result, “super beauty” became the ideal beauty template of the decade.

Clothing in the 80’s was crafted to flatter super-sleek, super-tall bodies, which is the exact opposite of what I have.  Shopping for clothing was a humiliating experience.  I constantly compared myself to what the media had decided was the ideal woman, and I failed to measure up in every way.  Everything was at least four inches too long.  I heard the world telling me “you’re too short.”  If it fit me in the hips, it was too big in the waist: “your hips are too big.”  If it fit me in the bust, it was too tight everywhere else: “your boobs are too small and you are fat.”  People I didn’t even know felt empowered to comment on my body.  Among some of the nicer things I have been called are “cow” and “matronly.” The world was telling me my body was unacceptable and unattractive, and instead of rejecting this falsehood, I began to believe it.

I let this lie dictate my choices in life for years.  I wore muted colors and stuffed myself into tight jeans with baggy tops over them to minimize and hide my curves.  But it went beyond clothing choices.  My career and personal life became ruled by my inability to stop comparing myself to others.  I didn’t pursue opportunities because I didn’t want to be in the spotlight.  People might see me as I see myself and I disgusted myself.  Marching band at Carolina?  No way.  Bathing suit at the water park? Forget it; I won’t even go.  Leading a training class?  You must be kidding.

Thank God for growth and change.  Today, girls see Beyonce and other beautifully curvy models in the media. Mainstream retailers like Kohl’s and Target include a variety of sizes, shapes, and colors of people in their ads. Maturity has helped me learn to focus on the blessings God provided me instead of how I don’t measure up to my perception of the blessings of others.  I may never fully overcome my self-depreciation but with God’s help I can now see that I am perfectly made. He made me and gifted me for a unique purpose nobody else can fulfill.  I am beautiful and beloved, and so are you.