Tis the season for exchanges and returns. Retail stores often experience their busiest week of the year right after Christmas. Gifts that are the wrong size, color, or just not wanted are taken back to the store for exchange or return. During my years working in retail, I witnessed the purchase-return cycle countless times. A shopper searching for a gift enters the store and makes a quick trip through the store to scope out the options and decide if the perfect gift might be waiting inside for them to find. If the possibility exists, the search begins in earnest. Every corner of the store gets explored. Items are picked up, examined, and carefully considered. Is it a suitable shape for the recipient? Does it look about the right size? Will they use it? A significant amount time and energy is spent in this process. The person choosing the gift sincerely wants to find something that will bring joy to the recipient. It made me sad to see how many people casually exchange or return these carefully chosen gifts.
I wonder if God feels sad too when we treat His gifts this way? God’s gifts take many forms but I’m speaking specifically about what churchy people call “spiritual gifts.” Everyone has something they are naturally good at and they find intense enjoyment in doing. For some, playing music, cooking or writing is something they need to do regularly to feel happy. Others are thrilled by bringing order to chaos, teaching, solving puzzles, or donating their time or money to their community. Find the thing you can completely lose yourself in, brings joy to your innermost being and puts your mind at peace like nothing else can, and you are on the right track to figuring out what your gift is.
When God chose our gift, there was no guessing involved. He knew exactly what kind of gift would please us, and made it the perfect size and shape for us. There is no need to return or exchange the perfect gift. Either we choose to use it or we stick it in the closet where it sits, obscured by our excuses like layers of dust that accumulate with each passing year.
Those of us who don’t use our gift convince ourselves we have many reasons for doing so. When I began to realize my gift was to serve God, this terrified me and I convinced myself I wasn’t worthy of it. The truth is I didn’t want it. Ministry is the “some assembly required” kind of gift, and I had a lot of work to do before I would be able to put it to use. 27 years ago, my life was starting to become what I had always dreamed it would be. After years of struggling through family turmoil and personal pain, I was really ready to be finished with college, start a good job, marry my high school sweetheart, and begin a comfortable adult life. It felt overwhelming to know my dreams would not work out the way I wanted, so I made selfish excuses to avoid changing my plans.
People can live productive lives without using their gift from God. I was one of these people until recently. I was happy with my life and felt very accomplished in many ways. But I always felt as if something was missing from my life until I dug deep into the back of my closet and pulled out the gift I had hidden there many years ago.
As I began to remove layers of dust, very cool things started to happen. Opportunities came my way that helped me build and practice the skills I needed to use my gift. All I had to do was keep saying “yes.” Excitement replaced fear as I began to learn that God never gives a gift without also providing all the knowledge, tools and parts needed to put it together and use it. To be honest, I still don’t and may never feel worthy of my gift. What I know now that I didn’t know then is that I don’t have to be worthy of it. This gift is paid in full, not refundable, and not exchangeable. God gave it to me because He loves me and wants all His children to experience His love. That’s all that matters.